While I haven’t had that many “love” relationships, once I get in one, I’m reticent to leave it.  No matter how bad it is.  Because of this, I’m usually the one who’s dumped.  Worse, I bemoan that failed relationship for a long time.   The only good thing about being that much of a doormat is that you lose a lot of weight.

I’d have to say the most devastating dump was Ex-Husband #2.  We were the perfect couple; we looked good together, we “got” each other, and we loved each other.  A lot.   At my wedding, no one placed bets on how long we’d last.  This time it was going to stick.

We didn’t really fight and other than wanting more sex, I was happy with him.  Because of this, I was shocked to shit when he told me he wanted out.  It was completely unexpected.  It didn’t make sense. I begged him to go to therapy, anything, but he didn’t want to.   He was done.

I moved out a few weeks later, totally confused.  This just didn’t add up and I struggled to understand what was going on.  I was devoted and we had been happy.  This was so out of character for him.  I decided it had to be that he met another woman.   I was only half wrong.

Transsexuals.  He liked transsexuals.

He’d been hanging out in these bars with a guy that was into them, too.  It brought up feelings that he’d pushed aside for a long time.   He had discovered that he was gay, or bisexual or whatever.   I had discovered that my marriage was over.

Now, Ex-Husband #2 had fooled everyone, even my gay friends.  He was straighter than a ruler, but apparently one that had been warped.  I was crushed.  I immediately went to the internet to do some research and get some reading material.  It was the only thing I could do to remain sane.  There was a book that I didn’t have the patience to order online.  I went into my Barnes and Noble, but couldn’t find it in the aisle.  I went to the counter and asked the woman if she had the book, “My Husband’s Gay.”  She looked me in the eye and said.

“That’s not good.”

No shit, Sherlock.  Why the fuck do you think I’m crying?  The last thing I needed was flippant commentary on my new situation.  But then it got worse.  That afternoon I had to fly to the Midwest for work.  I boarded the plane in tears.  I tried to cry as quietly as possible but my seatmate still noticed and was concerned.   Without thinking I told him that my husband had just told me he was gay.

“You’re better off.  He’s going to hell.  God hates homosexuals..”

I spent the next hour trying to defend my husband and his newfound sexuality.   To say I was devastated is an understatement.   There was no  easy way through this and it now, 6 years later.   I’m not sure I’ll ever completely give myself to someone else.   I still feel lucky to have loved so completely, even if it didn’t last.   We are still vey close which makes me think true love does last forever.  It just doesn’t always work out the way you think it will.

Moral of the story, there are some women you just can’t compete with.