My introduction into bondage and mild S&M was unplanned. It was just rough sex and I liked it. And conveniently enough, other than a few bruises and red hand marks on my ass, I’ve never really had a problem with a guy going too far. But then again, I could consider myself lucky. All my rough sex numbers have been in tune with what I can and cannot take, and how far I’m comfortable going. But some people go further and those people need Safe Words.
Safe Words are non-sexual phrases or words that inform your partner that they need to ease up a little bit on the hard core sex. One of the first Safe Words/Phrases that women used was “I have a headache.” This doesn’t really work for people who are actually fucking at the time, but more as a way to avoid sex all together. Who wants an excuse not to have sex? I’ll take it whenever and wherever I can.
I think it’s important to choose your Safe Word wisely. Using “Disneyland” will not only stop him from going too far, it will destroy the mood. If you’re not that well endowed, thinking about the “It’s A Small World” ride is only going to give you a complex. Keep the words edgy and fun. I had a safe phrase that once stopped Ex-Husband #1 in his tracks. “My period’s late.” But we only stopped long enough to get a condom.
I think Safe Words are important things to have when getting involved in extremely rough play. While it’s fun to test your boundaries, going over them can ruin the experience. So if you’re thinking of getting really kinky, pick a word or a phrase and go over it with your partner. It will make sex more fun and safer. A word to the wise, it isn’t going to work if you’re tied up, blindfolded and have a ball gag in your mouth.
Moral of the story, when fucking, it’s important to differentiate between a synonym and an antonym.