I’ve been giving blow jobs since I first started having sex.  I like to think that I’ve perfected it over the years, but it has not been without a little guidance.  I have to admit, my first forays into oral sex were not that great.  But that all changed when I was in college and hung out with a blond, gay republican gent (I know and this was the 80’s).  Being in a learning institution, I figured being schooled in the perfect blow job should be part of the curriculum.

I was still new at the whole process and I couldn’t relax my throat enough to take a lot of cock.  This became a problem when the guy was on the larger side.   My friend said this was not a problem and held up both his hands.  I was confused.

“The two handed blow job”.

He instructed that in addition to your mouth on the tip, it’s important to grip the cock; a nice combo of gentle yet firm.  Without stopping your oral magic, you can move your hands up and down the shaft.  A kind of jerking the guy off into your mouth.  I thought this was brilliant.   He said that for a smaller guy, fingers would do the trick.

My friend also told me not to forget about the balls.   He said that cupping the ball sack was helpful in getting a guy off, but cautioned to be gentle.   I started to get overwhelmed, but he reassured me that this was the perfect opportunity to give yourself a rest.  Mouth tired?  Use your hands.  Wrists getting sore?  That’s what the tongue is for.  Multi-tasking is a skill that you can apply to any avenue of your life.

Because none of my jobs has ever required a college degree, my brother always said that going to college was a waste of time and money.    I beg to differ and I assume so do the 72 guys that I’ve fucked over the years.

Moral of the story, idle hands are the devil’s playthings.